Just got back from a working vacation out in California visiting my good college friend Angela. It was a great week of debating theology, smoking cigars, eating great food, watching NCAA March Madness (stupid Duke!), and discussing the greatness that is Dexter. But then I arrived back home and Prince William drops a bombshell on the world and all I can say is YESSSSS!
Apparently the charming Prince doesn't want to wear a wedding ring. I too have never had any desire to wear a wedding ring - even though I very much desire to be a husband.
- I don't wear jewelry
- I don't wear watches. Except during my flight training and it drove me nuts.
- I don't like wearing much while I sleep.
- I definitely don't like tight, hotel room sheets.
- I don't really like clothes to be honest.
But while my personal argument against wedding rings is a claustrophobic one, over the years the conversation has morphed into a larger one about what it really means to be married, to be united, to be one.
Prince William is hardly much of a man. Taking 8-years to decide to marry Kate is just one of the many signs William fits in with most of the male 20-somethings of this era in their lack of ability to grow from boyhood to manhood. But he's not wrong about the ring. And the arguments against it, don't stand.
How will you know if one is married with out a wedding ring?
If the only way people know you are married is based on your wedding ring, a.) you don't have much of a conjoined life, and b.) he obviously doesn't talk very kindly about you. Ladies, you should be with someone who not only shares life with you, but also, who geniunely can't not talk about you in your absence.
Men with out wedding rings are just looking to cheat?
Yes, because the only thing stopping a man who wants to cheat, is that he doesn't know how to take off his wedding ring? Ladies, you should be with someone who has hundreds of reasons why they aren't cheating on you, not someone where you are depending on other women to "back off" when they see the ring.
It's an outward expression or symbol of our love
Their is nothing wrong with this statement in and of itself. But the fact that the "ring" has apparently become the only accepted symbol is the problem. Like all relationships, everyone is different. And the fact that every single relationship is some how magically suppose to accept the same outward expression is just asinine. Ladies, you should be with someone who isn't relying on a ring to be the outward expression of your love.
All this to say, I don't think there is anything wrong with wearing a wedding ring. But I also don't think there is anything wrong with not wearing a wedding ring.
I know I will probably lose this argument when the time comes - just one more reason that shows I am the person she should be marrying - but here's hoping I don't have to.
Wedding bands can be light and can be designed to be hardly noticeable. I, like you, hate jewelry but rarely notice that I am even wearing the band. The band provides a clear symbol that one is unavailable. This avoids a lot of awkwardness and appropriately frames conversations with the other gender. Yes, rarely does my wife not come up in the first 30 seconds of a conversation, but a wedding band removes any confusion.
Just to be clear, I am not talking about them wearing it sometimes and not wearing it others. I am talking about either wearing it all the time, or not wearing it all the time.
Appropriately frames conversation with the other gender? What does that even mean? My conversation with the opposite sex is the exact same as with my own sex. The only difference is that in the event I was married and I get propositioned for a date or something else (which let's be honest, won't happen that much), I just say thank them for their interest, but I am married. I don't see how that is awkward or not properly framed.
How often does someone proposition you for a date or relationship in the first 30 seconds either?
My wedding ring is the most treasured gift I have ever received from my wife. Inside each of our rings we had etched the date of our marriage and the simple, yet tireless phrase “ I love you”. I never take it off because I don’t want to ever be without it. I don’t care if people know if I’m married or not and I don’t need a ring to prove that I am married. For me my wedding ring is another way of telling the world that I have this wonderful gift given to me by a wonderful woman. Sometimes I talk peoples ears off about it, and sometimes I just let the ring speak for itself.
I must have missed Easter, since your fast seems to be over. :)
And although I agree with you on wedding rings I would not call Prince William's announcement a bombshell. Actually I would consider very few news from the Royal Family bombshells. Princess Di's death was one for sure. Queen abdicating and announcing the British Republic would be a huge one. But a second-in-line prince's choice of nuptial jewelery is certainly not one.
I have to disagree with you here though. In Europe even more than here cohabitation is fully accepted. Many couples date and live together for years without thinking of marriage - it is not necessarily a sign of immaturity, just evolving social morays. Having kids is often a reason to marry, but even in that case there is a significant number who raises the children but just never gets married. But of course, royal propriety pretty much forces him to tie the knot, since he might be king some day, so that's that. Not the most romantic reason to get married, for sure, but probably worth it for Kate given that she'll likely end up as queen consort.
But that can apply to couples that are not married and conversely not apply to a married couple. Nowadays, there is little a marriage per se indicates about the level of commitment or intimacy between two people - it is mostly a legal distinction, often not a relational one.
Of course, it can work the other way around.
I agree with you here. It should be an individual choice.
I am not trying to come off as too harsh here, but really?!? Her love? Her respect? Your kids (if you have them)? I have to think there are hundreds of things in a marriage that are by far better gifts than a ring?
The post to Facebook is an automatic RSS feed thing. And the Tweet is also an script as well. It checks if I have a new blog, and if I do, posts it to Twitter. I assure you haven't missed Easter :)
Ok, I am guilty of sensationalizing a bit now aren't I :)
I think this is true, but sad to be honest.
Yeah I thought about getting into that, but decided not to in order to not get too wordy. That new movie (which I haven't seen) Just Go With It also addresses the reverse phenomenon.
As Andy says, it's a personal choice. Just don't claim any longstanding tradition for it... unless you count the middle of the 20th century as ancient history.
Lew